


Prodigal

by Lidsworth



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: AU where Ahsoka stays in the Order but is still really broken, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Tumblr request, and no one gives her time to cope with what happened, complicated feelings, two parts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 07:51:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11801682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lidsworth/pseuds/Lidsworth
Summary: Ahsoka returns to the Temple after her innocent is proven. But she’s not the same Jedi that she was before her Trial. In fact, she’s not the same person.Upon this realization, Anakin does what he can to help Ahsoka readjust to life in the Order.It's by no means an easy feat.





	Prodigal

**Author's Note:**

> So this was a tumblr request where anon basically said: Au where ahsoka returns to the jedi order after the s5 finale, but she's broken. And anakin is left to help pick up the pieces. you can read it [on my tumblr](http://inkstranger.tumblr.com/post/164160728654/au-where-ahsoka-returns-to-the-jedi-order-after)!   
> Also, Anakin seemed oblivious to the emotional trauma that the Trial caused Ahsoka, and I think if she came back the Jedi Order, it would continue until things boiled over. That said, this is the opening setting for this fic. Ahsoka’s back, and Anakin attempts to act like nothing has happen.
> 
> It's gonna be two parts!
> 
> And just a reminder, I'm my own beta! So beware of my mistakes! And as always, feel free to prompt, or talk to me on my [Tumblrt](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2425535)!

She returns because she has nowhere else to go. Not because she wants to.   
  
The Jedi have given her everything, and as a result left her with nothing when she decided to leave. So she comes back, only because she must.

Anakin doesn’t know whether to be ecstatic that has Padawan has returned, or devastated because she appears distant when she does.

She spends a great deal of time outside of the Temple, considered by other Jedi  a civilian in everything but name, or a clone, spending more time in the barracks with her brothers. For the most part, Anakin ignores the chatter surrounding his Padawan, letting it die into the background much like his own infamous reputation.

_Ahsoka can handle it_ , he reminds himself, _she’s strong (_ he regrets that later on. Ahsoka is strong, but she’s not invincible _)._

It is as if  _that_ disregard for his Padawan’s wellbeing solidifies into a catalyst that unleashes disaster in the Force.

Before Anakin knows it, there is an undeniable deterioration of he and Ahsoka’s relationship.

He isn’t sure when he notices it, when he realizes her distance towards  _him._

Sure, Ahsoka avoided the other Jedi, but Anakin hadn’t counted himself amongst them.

Not until now, at least.  

It’s been weeks since they last spoke, almost longer since they’d last met. The most he sees of his Padawan is a quick flash of her lekku as she darts the corner to avoid him, and when he manages to catch up  her, he’s met with a barrage of excuses explaining why she can’t talk to him.

The battlefield is no different. Gone is the friendly banter between the two of them, their sibling rivalry all but demolished.

Ahsoka listens to his orders once without question, then dissolves into a crowd of white and blue until the battle is over and done with. And even then, she only speaks to him in debriefings.

_This_ continues for weeks on end, and when a year rounds the corner, Anakin realizes that Ahsoka Tano left when she was exiled from the Order.

And whatever little bit of her remained in her body vanished at Anakin’s indifference towards her.

It is  _that_ realization that sees Anakin standing in front of his former Padawan’s door (because she is no longer his student), durasteel hand balled into a fist, hovering above the metal. Hesitantly,  he drums his hand on the cool surface.

When there is no immediate response, Anakin’s courage plummets to his gut, and nearly turns on his heel and abandons his mission all together.

The small, “Come in”, and the sound of the door zipping open are the only things that stops him.

With a sigh, he steps over the threshold, smiling sadly as he looks at down Ahsoka.

She lays plopped down on her sleeping mat, blue eyes locked on the bright screen of her data pad, and doesn’t look up from her device even when Anakin comes into the room. All in all, Ahsoka is unfazed by his presence.

He doesn’t know whether or not its intentional, but assumes the latter for obvious reasons.

“Ahsoka, we need to talk.” He begins immediately, not wanting to risk the chance of her making another excuse.

“About what?” Ahsoka breaks her gaze from the content on her data pad with reluctance, drawing herself into a sitting position. Anakin doesn’t miss her knitted brows, nor does her miss the way her blue eyes skid around the room to avoid his.

Anakin plops down in front of his former Padawan, slouched form mirroring her own. With a sigh, he begins to speak.

“About you, Snips. I want to talk about you. ”

For a split second her gaze locks on his, nervous eyes wide as dinner plates, as if she’s been caught ‘red handed’ doing something wrong.

“What do you mean?” She asks.

The Jedi Knight fights the urge to groan, eliciting a raised eyebrow (or at least what looks like an eyebrow) from Ahsoka.

“You just…haven’t been yourself, not since you came back.”          

There is a shuffle of limbs and scrunch of her meditation mat, and suddenly Ahsoka is standing to full height, back turned towards her master and arms crossed defensively against her chest. Anakin pales, the stance all too familiar.

_Damn it_ , he mentally chastises herself,  _I didn’t come in here to make her upset._

“Snips, I—“

“How can you expect me to be myself? How am I supposed to be the same when the Order I grew up in isn’t what I thought it was,” she interjects, whirling around to meet him, Lekku spinning and eyes ablaze with hurt and anger, “ Before everything, it felt like home. Now…I don’t know what it is anymore. It’s just a place I have to stay at… and I’m not…I’m not happy here. Not anymore.”

_That_ is a punch to the gut, and a statement that would have sent Anakin staggering had he been standing.

“I don’t get it, Snips. They forgave you, you’re back! They admitted to their mistakes—“

“There should never have  _been_ a mistake, Anakin,” reminds the Togruta, frantic and on edge as she continues, “I was one of them, how could they turn on me like that? And how can everyone just expect me to come back to the Order like nothing happened. Everyone expects me to get over it, because it’s the ‘Jedi’ thing to do.  _You_ expect me to get over it, Anakin. But it’s not that easy! And nobody understands, you don’t understand!”

Anakin half expects her to cry, watching as her anger dissolves into utter despair.

It is at that moment that Anakin recalls his earliest memories at the Temple, those which included the Council distrusting him for no reason. He imagined that it was much,  _much_ worse for Ahsoka. She wasn’t a child—not like Anakin had been then. And more than expulsion was at stake for her.

It was her life.

He is a fool to not have realized this before.

“No, Ahsoka,” responds Anakin, sincerely, “I  _do_ understand.”  

Anakin can’t imagine having Obi-Wan turn on him, can’t imagine having Plo turn on him. He can’t imagine having The Chancellor abandon him either. Can’t imagine them cleaning their hands of his supposed crimes and sending him off to death not soon after.

But that’s what everyone did to Ahsoka.

It didn’t help that she had no one to speak to after such an Ordeal, no one to listen to her. Not even Anakin.

Ahsoka was utterly alone—is  _still_ utterly alone.  

“If you understand, then why don’t you do anything? Why do you expect me to just…to just pretend that things are normal? You talk to me like nothing ever happened, like our relationship is the  _same,_ Anakin. But it isn’t. It won’t ever be, especially not with you assuming I’m just going to go back to normal!”

“You’re right, Ahsoka,” Anakin acknowledges, “I’m sorry.”

Ahsoka descends slowly, falling onto her mat and holding her hands in her lap. She waits for him to speak, staring as the silence grows.

“I just…I did want things to be how they were, Ahsoka,” confessed the Knight, “I missed you. I must  _us._ I guess pretending like nothing happened seemed like the fasted way to get that back. I didn’t consider your feelings or how badly this ordeal affected you, and that was selfish of me.” ****

It is  _his_ turn to avoid her gaze, and instead takes a great interest in the mechanics of his hand.

“What the Order did to you hurt you, what  _I_ did to you hurt you, and I’m sorry I didn’t acknowledge what you went through when you returned,” now he lifts his eyes, extending his hands to take hers, “But I’m sorry, Ahsoka. And I want to make this right. I want this to be your home again. Just tell me what I can to.”

The younger Jedi looks taken aback, blue eyes wide and watery as her Master takes her hand.

“Just be there for me, Anakin. All of me,” responds the Togruta, “Not just happy me, but current me…broken me.”

“Okay,” he squeezes her hand in reassurance, leaning forward, “That I can do…I promise.”

With a sigh, Ahsoka leans forward as well, wrapping her Master in a tight embrace.

Anakin jolts, slightly startled by the hug. Though he returns the embrace nonetheless, wrapping his own arms around his Padawan.  


End file.
